• So Fab Kim

Why is "ghosting" a thing?

Ghosting is immature. Period. I'm willing to debate anyone, even your momma, on it. I've noticed a plethora of blog posts, tweets and memes about the topic and even some in support of ghosting. But seriously, why is ghosting even a thing?

For those of you who are left in the dark about what "ghosting" actually is, it's when you're "talking to" or dating someone and they suddenly just disappear. They no longer answer your phone calls or text messages. Typically you don't ever hear from them again and you're just left wondering "WTF?!" It's literally the adult version of someone putting their fingers in their ear and saying "I can't hear you! Lalalala!"

Ghosting has become "so fetch" that it's even offered as a costume this year at Party City. Take a look...

You know it's trendy whenever it becomes a costume. Ridiculous.

Have I ghosted before? Absolutely! But, I was also in high school. As an adult, I don't take pride in intentionally becoming a disappearing act.

Have I been ghosted? Absolutely! And to be completely honest, it sucks. It's confusing. In your mind you're thinking everything is good then POOF! Conversation is over. You hear nothing. You're checking to see if Sprint cut you off. Checking with friends if they're getting your text messages because maybe your phone is the reason why you didn't hear anything back. But nope. It's working just fine. You go on social media because maybe they died? Nope. They're still posting and using GIFs. In some cases they may have blocked you on all platforms. Next you're creating faux social media accounts and literally lurking harder that the FBI. Don't judge. We've all done this or know someone that has.

Point is ghosting is childish AF! It displays that as an adult you are unable to communicate effectively and would rather ignore issues oppose to dealing with them. These are not traits I would want in a potential mate.

Now some people may argue "why do I need to explain myself?" "I don't have time. I just cut people off" "They weren't matching my energy. So they had to go!"

Stop making excuses for being a poor human being. It's really about being a decent person. If you're not interested, then say so. Simple as that. When you're talking to someone for an extensive amount of time do they not deserve to know why you no longer wish to continue the friendship/relationship?

Now, I am not saying to provide them with a college term paper including cited reference, but be honest. You have no control over how they feel about it, but at least you were frank. That is appreciated more than you'll ever know.

In summary, if you find amusement in playing with another's feelings then you need to:

  • Grow the hell up

  • Seek counseling

  • Agree that whenever the time comes for you to be on the receiving NOT complain.